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Welcome back! This week, Angeline picked Chelsea Handler's book Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. We also try to decide what she should read next. Josh joins in to to discuss his disdain for saving chairs an Iguana violation and his plans for the future, will we be moving to the Keys????
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Angeline Compau:
We're back bitches.
Rebecca Smith:
We're back on the same night
Angeline Compau:
number two,
Rebecca Smith:
Josh thinks I get angry at him but I'm not angry.
Angeline Compau:
You sound a little angry.
Rebecca Smith:
I'm just pointing out what a dick he is
Angeline Compau:
you sound a little angry,
Rebecca Smith:
not angry. Just pointing shit out.
Angeline Compau:
It's funny. What did he say? Aren't you Why don't you get more mad about it or something?
Rebecca Smith:
That's what I live with
Angeline Compau:
Ah, yes.
Rebecca Smith:
What I live with
Angeline Compau:
from last week, it'll be y'all know, from last week,
Rebecca Smith:
You know what we're talking about,
Angeline Compau:
youknow?
Rebecca Smith:
So hi.
Angeline Compau:
Hey,
Rebecca Smith:
how was your week?
Angeline Compau:
Hey,
Rebecca Smith:
we're recording this on the same night. So
Angeline Compau:
yeah,
Rebecca Smith:
let's let's just make up how your week was?
Angeline Compau:
My Week was fantastic.
Rebecca Smith:
Why are we doing two episodes? Where are you going? Again?
Angeline Compau:
Well, I guess we can't talk about it. Because it's a surprise. People don't know that I'm coming.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh,
Angeline Compau:
but since this is coming out after I'll already have gone
Rebecca Smith:
been there,
Angeline Compau:
been there and done all that
Rebecca Smith:
good.
Angeline Compau:
Yes, I am going to Florida
Rebecca Smith:
again
Angeline Compau:
again. And they they don't know that I'm coming. It's gonna be a surprise
Rebecca Smith:
who is it for?
Angeline Compau:
my friend Erica lives down there. And her husband's family normally goes down the week that I was already there. But they couldn't make it this year. So they're going down later. And I am going to surprise them.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, so you know his family?
Angeline Compau:
Yes. Yeah, I always we always end up there at the same weekend. And this year didn't work out. But I'm making it happen. So.
Rebecca Smith:
nice,
Angeline Compau:
suck it guys. Thought you're gonna vacation without me. I'm showing up. Wildcard bitches.
Rebecca Smith:
So when are you actually going?
Angeline Compau:
I leave Thursday.
Rebecca Smith:
Okay, for
Angeline Compau:
I'll be back Sunday. Just packing my backpack up.
Rebecca Smith:
Gotcha. So your week was good.
Angeline Compau:
It was a good week. I feel like I had something to tell you. Snowcoming. I'm missing out on Snowcoming I'm gonna make my mom FaceTime me the girls because they're getting ready to
Rebecca Smith:
that's Saturday.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Rebecca Smith:
Aww
Angeline Compau:
I know. We did all their snow coming proposals to their boys and they're gonna take pictures and probably make out and grind up on each other on the dance floor.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah.
Angeline Compau:
boners are gonna happen.
Rebecca Smith:
Did you DM Brian about sitting on his face yet?
Angeline Compau:
No, I didn't. Brian. I'm sorry. I haven't I haven't reached out.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, he should be sad
Angeline Compau:
I'm sorry.
Rebecca Smith:
So
Angeline Compau:
this will probably be a short one.
Rebecca Smith:
It might be because you just read your book today.
Angeline Compau:
Oh, my gosh. So
Rebecca Smith:
Friday night. I'm talking to her about it. And how long we had to read our books
Angeline Compau:
a couple of weeks. I could tell you the exact date. I bought this book.
Rebecca Smith:
You bought it
Angeline Compau:
yeah
Rebecca Smith:
Look at you commitment. I only got my mine from the library.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah. So you guys. We talked about this. I bought this book on January 27. From it's like a used bookstore
Rebecca Smith:
so it's like a month later.
Angeline Compau:
And I knew we were recording this Sunday. Today is
Rebecca Smith:
the 26th 27th 27th 20
Angeline Compau:
it's the 27th Today's the 27th. So I've had it for exactly one month. Today. I I knew when we were doing this. Me and you hung out Friday. You asked me if I was ready. I said I have not even started my book yet. This is Friday guys. This is two days ago.
Rebecca Smith:
She's like, is this into short one is okay. And I'm like,
Angeline Compau:
I know. you're panicking and I'm panicking because I don't want to let you know that I'm panicking. So I'm trying to play it cool. Like that's cool. It's a short book in reality, this actually was a really short book and it was a really easy read. So in less than 24 hours I knocked that shit out and I read the entire thing
Rebecca Smith:
okay so here's what you need to do is you need to get a book to read on plane
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Rebecca Smith:
So that you have a book for your next
Angeline Compau:
and I can do that yeah, I can Yeah,
Rebecca Smith:
once you decide what you're gonna do
Angeline Compau:
I I'm not I'm not a slow reader. It's despite what Josh may think. I'm not a slow reader I can read. I can read guys. It's the challenge for me is getting something that I'm interested in that will I will want to read.
Rebecca Smith:
Well see and like I said I would recommend books on tape then but you don't want to do that.
Angeline Compau:
I do but I don't. I like listening to stuff like I got to kind of be interested in it. I want to play it on my phone though. I don't want to get like a Kindle or
Rebecca Smith:
you can get Kindle on your phone.
Angeline Compau:
I don't see I don't even know technology. I'm young but I'm old guys.
Rebecca Smith:
You have an iPhone you can do Apple books too?
Angeline Compau:
Oh, is that a thing? Never heard of it.
Rebecca Smith:
It literally is an app that comes on your phone already installed.
Angeline Compau:
Oh, I think I deleted that.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah.
Angeline Compau:
Any way,
Rebecca Smith:
anyhoo
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, I think I deleted that app.
Rebecca Smith:
Nice. Well, you can always get it back.
Angeline Compau:
I think I was thinking of audible, that Kindle. So you have audible? Is that an app that I need?
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah, I think you need to have the app in order to download the book.
Angeline Compau:
Sorry. This is so boring, guys. This is just how I'm gonna get. Yeah, this is how I'm gonna get my books read. But I got to figure out what I want to read.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah,
Angeline Compau:
I don't know. So I found this book at a used bookstore near my house. And it's Chelsea Handler's book called Chelsea Chelsea. Bang bang. It's so fucking funny.
Rebecca Smith:
See, I don't know. I never really got into Chelsea Handler that much. Like I never watched that Chelsea Lately or
Angeline Compau:
no
Rebecca Smith:
anything. I always just seem like I would read about her like in the news and she didn't sound like a nice person, but I don't know.
Angeline Compau:
She is very, I don't want to say she's not nice, but I know exactly what you're talking about. Because she is definitely got like, a mean, kind of streaked where she's like, plays pranks on people and teases people and she Yeah, is kind of like kinda like Josh he jokes around but in like a mean way.
Rebecca Smith:
I feel like she her delivery might be a little bit more dry though
Angeline Compau:
oh for sure
Rebecca Smith:
so you don't know if she is kidding or not?
Angeline Compau:
For sure. There. So the whole last like kind of chapter of this book is hilarious because it's called deep thoughts by Chelsea handy, which is like a play on the
Rebecca Smith:
jack handy.
Angeline Compau:
Exactly. Okay, so if you get it, you get it. She says my tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind that easily attainable in this economic climate. So the following is a catalogue of lies that have been left open ended. And in all these instances, the victims have not been made aware that they have fallen prey to complete and utter nonsense. So she these are all lies that she has made up and told people and has not told him that she was joking still to this point. So it's really funny. So that's part of it. That was a good part. One of them. She made up like as you you listen to like Heather McDonald. So because she was one of the writers on Chelsea Lately, she wrote about this lie that she told her that she was going to be she got asked to be in a movie about the challenger. thing.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, the shuttle disaster?
Angeline Compau:
Yes. And Heather McDonald believes this whole entire story. It was hilarious. I don't want to read the whole thing.
Rebecca Smith:
Okay,
Angeline Compau:
because it's long, but it was just so funny that she was like, it's gonna be a comedy. And Heather goes, That's really weird, because that was like,
Rebecca Smith:
not good.
Angeline Compau:
That was like a really horrible event, she goes it is weird. Because she just totally believed that. So that was really funny. There's a couple of those in there. The very first chapter, which is why I had such an easy time banging out this book, because I got hooked immediately. The first chapter it was about her falling in love with herself as a child. She was like, I was eight years old. When I fell head over heels in love with myself. And I'm thinking all that so nice, very sweet says it's like sentiment, except she is talking about how she fell in love with masturbating. And I'm like, Holy fucking shit. She goes off on all of these like, escapades that she's doing this at school. She's doing this like in like her basement, in the rooms where she thinks that people are like watching her but she thinks she's being discreet, and she's totally not and they call her out on it. Like her brothers and sisters are like she does it all the time. And she thought no one else knew. So fucking funny. So I was trying to find that quote,
Rebecca Smith:
uh huh.
Angeline Compau:
Because I guess her sister called her out and was like, why don't you go dry up your pillow some more. she was like I was mortified.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh,
Angeline Compau:
so she's like, She's the youngest of six children.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh my god.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah. So I think that her getting picked on probably and but her as the youngest was also she's a
Rebecca Smith:
her boyfriend now or
Angeline Compau:
this one. This book was it was in 2010. And Spitfire the way that she talks like she tells stories about her siblings and stuff like that. the shit she says to them and her parents. I was like, dang, she was fucking witty and clever, even as a kid. I'm like, damn. So like all that was super easy to read. I liked that first first chapter. The feeling the then I, I'm assuming the stories were of the past. I don't know feeling Also she she got some cool chapters about like stuff that gone on with her boyfriend, which I had to look up who her boyfriend was. His name was Ted, when she dated this guy, but he was like a producer for a channel.
Rebecca Smith:
Okay.
Angeline Compau:
I don't know if it was E! or whatever. I think it was E!,
Rebecca Smith:
okay.
Angeline Compau:
He was like a producer, like executive for the whatever. I didn't know that she had ever dated like anybody but she was she was talking about this funny story about how he cuz he's got a lot of money. And she's, you know, big at this point. She's doing her show. And she goes to this wedding and he wants to leave early. So he has a helicopter, come pick him up. Like and she's super mortified because she was like, this is super embarrassing. These are friends of hers from years ago when she had didn't have money and she's getting picked up by the helicopters. She tried to pretend that it's not theirs. And she's like, that's not ours. She's She's super funny.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah,
Angeline Compau:
and I cuz I never got into Chelsea Lately, either. I just when that show was on, I was younger, and I just didn't care much about it. So
Rebecca Smith:
I think I maybe watched one or two, but I didn't know if it was like a real show. Again. I'm like, what is it? I don't Is it for real? Is it? And then they have like the panel of the people that would just like,
Angeline Compau:
roast everybody.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah. Rip on people
Angeline Compau:
Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. I mean, they are mean, but funny, and like, and people are usually good sports about it. So there's also, I guess it's a chapter about her family. Her mom died in 2006. I'm not for sure about that. Because it wasn't like detailed in the book. It just kind of goes into how her dad's living. And where she grew up, which is she was from New Jersey. So how he's kind of living and he's doing his own thing. And her communicating with her brothers and sisters about what an idiot he is that she's like, I don't It kind of reminds me of do you know, who Casey Wilson is? even know how he's surviving. Can we euthanize him like we what is what is he even doing? He doesn't even know how to fix anything. He doesn't know how to call. He doesn't know he's hanging out with hookers, because he doesn't know they're hookers. He's taking them on trips. She's like, can we just put them down, like. So that was the gist of the book wasn't like a biography, per se. It was just a collection of stories that were really funny about her life. And and details here and there about stuff, you know, deeper into her relationships. And like she adopts a dog and how she goes about adopting this dog. You know, she's not even a dog person. But that's basically it. no.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, she was on that show. I can't even think of the name of it. I don't know she was on Saturda Night live. She does Bitch Sesh that podcast with Daniel Schneider. You would know her if you saw her. She's been like a ton of shit. But she did a book called the wreckage of my presence. And it's like essays of like, were just stories about her life. Kind of like that. I feel like would be
Angeline Compau:
Yeah,
Rebecca Smith:
yeah. Interesting.
Angeline Compau:
It was a good book. I seriously, I read that in 24 hours, which I would not have been able to do if that book sucked.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah,
Angeline Compau:
I know me. And I know
Rebecca Smith:
so who are you gonna do next you don't know, what are your thoughts? Like, who are your top choices? Who you thinking?
Angeline Compau:
I don't, I wasn't thinking anybody
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, really?
Angeline Compau:
I have not thought I would even when I went to the store to look for a book. I didn't have an idea in my head. I just I happen to see that one. And I was like, I bet that would be a good one.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah,
Angeline Compau:
I bet it would be something I was interested in. And I was right.
Rebecca Smith:
Mm hmm.
Angeline Compau:
Cuz I don't know.
Rebecca Smith:
What about Amy Schumer? She has books, right?
Angeline Compau:
I don't know. I saw Amy Poehler had a book but hers looked huge. And I was like, Ooh,
Rebecca Smith:
yeah,
Angeline Compau:
that looked long.
Rebecca Smith:
That's I was looking up like top celebrity biographies. And that's been on there. Amy Poehler,
Angeline Compau:
Amy Poehler. Yeah, that it had a lot of pictures in it. So I'm like, is that mostly pictures or what? That was one I had considered. Amy Schumer might be good, but I find her kind of annoying. So I'm like, I don't know.
Rebecca Smith:
I hear Britney Spears is gonna write a book, but I don't think it's gonna be out in two weeks.
Angeline Compau:
No, I heard about that, too. She's gonna write a book and it's gonna be amazeballs everyone's gonna read that shit.
Rebecca Smith:
I'll get at the library.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah. Chelsea Handler
Rebecca Smith:
Here's my thing with Britney. I won't. I won't go off on it. go ahead
Angeline Compau:
this. Chelsea Handler reminds me well I remind I remind myself of her, I guess because she's older. But
Rebecca Smith:
yeah,
Angeline Compau:
her humor is hilarious. I would would go and watch her show now. After having read her book. I'd be like, Okay, I kind of understand her humor a little bit better. And I would watch your show. I bet it's fucking hilarious.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, yeah. Kind of like I did with Rob Lowe going back and watching his movies.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Smith:
Nice. All right here The 25 of the best celebrity memoirs ever written.
Angeline Compau:
Okay.
Rebecca Smith:
Michelle Obama.
Angeline Compau:
I know that'll put me to sleep. No offense,
Rebecca Smith:
Tina Fey
Angeline Compau:
yep
Rebecca Smith:
Katharine Hepburn. Elton John.
Angeline Compau:
No, nothing's jumping out at me.
Rebecca Smith:
Let's see, I'm going to scroll. Carrie Fisher? That would be interesting. I bet. Julia Child. Yeah. Michael J. Fox.
Angeline Compau:
Ah, that that might interest me.
Rebecca Smith:
Rob Lowe had a whole thing with Michael J. Fox in his book.
Angeline Compau:
I might. Michael J. Fox could be a good one.
Rebecca Smith:
Keith Richards.
Angeline Compau:
Nope.
Rebecca Smith:
Laruen Becall, Margaret Cho. That's it. That's all we got.
Angeline Compau:
The're even telling me that those are good. And I'm like, Oh, are they though?
Rebecca Smith:
Those don't really I have the Tina Fey one I was gonna read. I don't know if I'm going to do it yet. But I was gonna read it and see.
Angeline Compau:
Now I could, I would I probably could read that and not get bored.
Rebecca Smith:
Seth Rogen.
Angeline Compau:
I saw that at the store and I almost picked that up. Almost did. But I'm like, okay, so how many stories about getting high and shit? Can I read without being bored? So I don't know. I'd see. And that's that's just where my mind goes. I'm like, Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Instead of just reading it and letting myself find out. I'm bored. I tell myself already. I'm gonna get bored. I definitely need something funny for sure.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah,
Angeline Compau:
I don't know, though. Cuz I could read Rob Lowe's book and I'd be be sucked in.
Rebecca Smith:
Well, that's why I bought a few. I didn't buy got a few of the library.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah,
Rebecca Smith:
just to see
Angeline Compau:
I should go to the library.
Rebecca Smith:
I did get Jamie Lynn Spears book.
Angeline Compau:
You should read that. And recap it for us one day.
Rebecca Smith:
All right. I just I started it.
Angeline Compau:
Even though she bothers me.
Rebecca Smith:
Why?
Angeline Compau:
Cuz she keeps trying to play the victim and her sisters stories. Like nobody cares about you, girl go away.
Rebecca Smith:
Here's what I will say, is having talked to my sisters and especially Stephanie, like, your perceptions of things growing like my perceptions of our family. And her perceptions of our family are two completely different things. Even when we're there like I remember talking to her one time, because she spent I felt like, she had a really close relationship with my mom, like they would do stuff. They did pottery classes, and this and that. And I feel like I really missed out on that because my mom died when I was 23. And so I always felt like God, I never got that opportunity. And this and that. And I said that to her once about how close they were. And she's like, what? And she goes, it's not that we were close she goes I made mom do those things. If I didn't make her do those things with me, then we wouldn't have had that relationship. And so it's all about different perceptions of things. I think both can be true, like the way that I perceived it, I think is true, I think I feel like they had a close relationship. But the way that she perceives it is something completely different. And it's not that one is right or one is wrong. I think the the case in that instance with Brittany and Jamie Lynn is Brittany is so defensive about it, that she's not willing to let Jamie Lynn talk about her perceptions of how things were at that time. Because Brittany's thinking, No, I lived this. This is how I felt. But okay, but I know that this is how you felt. But I felt this way when this was going on, too. This is what I saw. And no one's willing to listen to the other person's perceptions. Even though they may be totally different.
Angeline Compau:
Agreed.
Rebecca Smith:
That's what I'm thinking.
Angeline Compau:
And I also feel like nobody cares what Jamie has to say.
Rebecca Smith:
Well, I think plenty people care because she's a best seller.
Angeline Compau:
Oh my god, I cannot. I'm like, I don't know. Like I feel like people are reading it for sure. Because they're hoping to find something out like they're diggin. But
Rebecca Smith:
I mean, right now, like I And granted, I'm in the beginning, but it's, it's all about her. It's not really about Brittany, it's about her relationship and how she saw their family. And yeah, because the family was so like, entwined in Brittany's success and career and stuff like that. It's how she dealt with it and how, you know, she remembers it. It's not necessarily about her. That's how I mean so far in this book. That's how I'm perceiving it. She's saying she's always wanted to act. She's always wanted to do this. She was she would have to be backstage at Britney's concerts because they would have to travel with her. And she would want to put on shows too. And she goes I just remember looking at my sister and how much I idolized her and admired her because she had such control over the crowd and you know, people were mesmerized by her. And of course, you're a little girl you want to be like your big sister and there's a big age gap there. And so you know, you see this person that is your sister that you just want to be like
Angeline Compau:
I'm very angry about it.
Rebecca Smith:
I know,
Angeline Compau:
I don't know.
Rebecca Smith:
I know.
Angeline Compau:
It's my perception on it. That it's not about. I don't know that she's making it more.
Rebecca Smith:
So far in the book. It's not about Brittany at all. It's about her.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Rebecca Smith:
And what she wanted for herself, and how she's getting there. And it's not really. I think it mentions timeframes only because you have to their whole lives were about Britney's career. I mean, she was there. So how else was she supposed to talk about it? You know?
Angeline Compau:
I just don't
Rebecca Smith:
imagine
Angeline Compau:
I can't even comment on it. Because everything that I'm going to say is just horrible.
Rebecca Smith:
But imagine being in a family where you have one person that is so super famous that the whole family revolves around that one person. How, how then are you supposed to live your life? You just have to live your life kowtow into that one person and they kind of did.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, she did her own thing she made. She made it. She's fine.
Rebecca Smith:
She did but now Britney saying she only made it because of me. But okay. Like she never would have gotten any of that had it not been for Britney, which may very well be Britney may have opened the door just simply by having that name in that family. Maybe opportunity knocks, but why would you begrudge your sister of that success? She may have gotten it because of you. But she kept it because of her.
Angeline Compau:
I did think about Kris Jenner put out that memoir. Remember they
Rebecca Smith:
did she?
Angeline Compau:
the years ago. Remember they talked about it on the show? And she kept calling it a memoir.
Rebecca Smith:
I never watched the show.
Angeline Compau:
You never watched it. Girl? Yeah, I guess Kris Jenner has one. I thought that probably be a good one. Because yeah, I could probably
Rebecca Smith:
She might talk about OJ
Angeline Compau:
she I know she talks about that. She talks about her affair.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah, you should do that one.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, cuz that was Yeah. I just remember all the girls making fun of her when she kept calling it a memoir.
Rebecca Smith:
Memoir. this is gonna be like a 15 minute episode. It's gonna be a minisode
Angeline Compau:
a minisode.
Rebecca Smith:
Josh,
Josh Smith:
so I want to talk about
Rebecca Smith:
straight into it.
Josh Smith:
The fact that I'm a hero.
Angeline Compau:
Oh, okay.
Josh Smith:
I know you want to talk about
Rebecca Smith:
This is going to make me angry again.
Josh Smith:
Angelina, would you prefer, Beck's so angry. I'm just saying the washing machine was broken.
Angeline Compau:
You're
Rebecca Smith:
no it wasn't.
Josh Smith:
I stepped in. and I fixed that shit.
Rebecca Smith:
Okay, go ahead, give her your version. And then I'll tell you what really happened.
Angeline Compau:
Okay,
Josh Smith:
I'm not a very handy person. So
Angeline Compau:
I did not know that about you
Josh Smith:
I was informed that the washing machine was broken.
Rebecca Smith:
No, you were not.
Josh Smith:
I called my parents up on the way home from work, which I do five nights a week. And I said Hey, Dad does this ever happen to you. And he said, you know, there's a door somewhere on the bottom or the side.
Rebecca Smith:
Objection. Already he's starting off the story without offering information.
Angeline Compau:
You can't tell his version.
Josh Smith:
And then
Angeline Compau:
you got to hear both.
Josh Smith:
I told Beck when I got home don't worry about it. I got it. And I went down I found said door
Angeline Compau:
Okay,
Josh Smith:
found said filter which was clogged to the max with Rone hair.
Angeline Compau:
Oh,
Josh Smith:
unclogged it. Wallah. Problemo solved
Angeline Compau:
hero
Josh Smith:
hero.
Angeline Compau:
Okay,
Josh Smith:
not zero, hero.
Angeline Compau:
Okay, now, we have to hear your version,
Rebecca Smith:
much like Joe turnquist. He's omitting facts,
Angeline Compau:
okay.
Rebecca Smith:
Where there was a whole conversation where I said to him, oh, yeah, our washers acting up, I looked online, I looked at some videos, and there's a plug in there or something that you can or filter that you can do. And then I said, so I'm just gonna have to do that. So then he proceeds to take that information and say, Oh, dad, you know, this and this, and then he gets all that information. So in all actuality, the real hero is me, because I already got the information that I was gonna do myself. Thank you so much for taking it upon yourself for fixing it. However, it was still me. So he's sending out all these texts to his family and his like, Dad told me that I needed to do this. And I'm like, Ah,
Josh Smith:
I'm trying to make my father feel good.
Rebecca Smith:
Which is fine. I didn't say anything
Josh Smith:
Which is also something a hero would do
Angeline Compau:
Oh, that's nice.
Josh Smith:
Giving my father all the credit.
Angeline Compau:
But you didn't give your wife any of it. She wants some credit, too. Don't you wanna make her feel good?
Rebecca Smith:
No, I didn't say a word to your dad. I didn't say a word to your family.
Josh Smith:
It was a joke with me and my sister's and family was like a serious thing.
Rebecca Smith:
Really?
Josh Smith:
But I do still feel like a hero
Rebecca Smith:
it's it's Yeah, exactly. That's what I say. It's a joke. When everybody's in on it laffy laughy it's not a joke when you're still walking around here with nobody around calling yourself a hero. so that's the difference
Josh Smith:
Beck was also included in the text. It wasn't like I
Rebecca Smith:
right, I didn't rat him out. I didn't rat him out to his sisters.
Angeline Compau:
She had to read all these messages about how she got zero credit for her idea.
Josh Smith:
True. True.
Angeline Compau:
Oh,
Josh Smith:
anyway, I still classify myself as hero.
Angeline Compau:
Okay, yeah, you did you put in the work? I guess
Josh Smith:
I did put in the work.
Angeline Compau:
Okay, you get that
Josh Smith:
it was dirty work. So
Angeline Compau:
you get that
Josh Smith:
let's talk about reserving chairs. So I don't I don't think my wife and I stand far apart other than because she's not a reserver, which I appreciate. I don't think whether it's like midnight mass church or like a pool. Like when you get there, you should get your seat. You should not go out
at you know, 7:
15am take the prized seat, seats with your towels and lotion and other devices and then proceed to go fuck off for an hour and a half. That's not That's not right. I don't think you should be able to do it. I don't think you should be able to get someplace and reserve seats for others. Now, if there's nobody there. That's fine.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Josh Smith:
But when they're prime territory, if you're not using it, it's a first come first serve, but should be first come first USE basis.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Josh Smith:
And we saw a lot of that going on. And I don't like it.
Angeline Compau:
I don't like it.
Josh Smith:
I just don't think it's appropriate
Rebecca Smith:
There were a million seats out there to be had people wanted the prime seats around the pool because there weren't that many that were just around the pool around this one particular pool,
Angeline Compau:
okay.
Rebecca Smith:
So people would go before breakfast, lay there, shit down and then go eat breakfast and then come back when the pool was technically open. And do it that way. We didn't do that. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't. It doesn't matter to me. Because even no matter where you sit, you can rotate your turn around, find the sun, whether you're on the beach or whatever, you just walk up to the pool, if you want to go in the pool, and then you walk back, you get drinks served to you anywhere. Doesn't matter.
Josh Smith:
That's why they should not have reserved.
Rebecca Smith:
It doesn't matter though.
Angeline Compau:
Because if you could just go anywhere and come up to the pool, then just do it.
Rebecca Smith:
I don't know. I think if you're old, who cares?
Josh Smith:
I didn't see a lot of like 60 year olds doing it.
Rebecca Smith:
Yes. A lot of them were 60
Josh Smith:
Okay, we did we were on the younger end of the
Angeline Compau:
yeah,
Josh Smith:
clientele. So Beck when I were talking about I said, you know, this could be a fun place to go. And I think it was me that said I don't know that Angeline would love this place
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah, we were talking about doing it for my 50th and
Angeline Compau:
I would go so if there's a bunch of people there that we still have fun even if there's not
Josh Smith:
Angeline, you're going to be the youngest person there by basically the gap between you know,
Rebecca Smith:
not really because those that one couple they were in their early 20s
Angeline Compau:
That's true. Kayla would go should be with me.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah,
Josh Smith:
I don't see. no, I see Kayla enjoying it frankly.
Angeline Compau:
I would enjoy it. She's more mature than me. She's more mature than me that's for sure.
Josh Smith:
It was fun. It's great place to go. But it's not party but there's a lot of day drinking. Everybody was day drinking
Angeline Compau:
If I day drink. I'll be in bed by nine I think that's what you, see that's
Josh Smith:
and the outdoor shower particularly when it was dark is awesome. Because you literally felt like you were showering the jungle.
Angeline Compau:
Oh
Josh Smith:
in fact I kept thinking I wonder if there are fucking snakes out here.
Angeline Compau:
No,
Rebecca Smith:
no, there wasn't
Angeline Compau:
no
Rebecca Smith:
we didn't see any
Angeline Compau:
No
Rebecca Smith:
It was all like artificial grass. It wasn't like
Josh Smith:
The vines. Were real though. real grass.
Rebecca Smith:
The trees and stuff for real though
Angeline Compau:
No,
Rebecca Smith:
there were no snakes
Angeline Compau:
What if an Iguana came out and then just started raping something in front of me.
Rebecca Smith:
That could happen
Angeline Compau:
Yeah. I don't want to be showering and see two Iguana's going at it.
Rebecca Smith:
That was so awesome.
Angeline Compau:
That was
Josh Smith:
I like how she scraped him off with the gate.
Rebecca Smith:
It went on for like 10 minutes.
Josh Smith:
Oh my gosh,
Rebecca Smith:
he was all up in there. And then yeah, so she's like trying to move he's moving on top of her. And then he was like biting the back of her head. And then finally she got under the gate and scraped him off her back. Like, oh, like
Angeline Compau:
I was wondering. I'm like, okay, so his pecker is probably somewhere in here but I'm like how was he reaching it like his she's got this long tail.
Rebecca Smith:
No, he moved her tail up.
Angeline Compau:
Oh, shut up. He did
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah, when they got towards the gate. Her tail was up and he was up underneath.
Josh Smith:
Oh, yeah he did.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, that is Oh, that's some National Geographic shit. That
Josh Smith:
it was it was live
Rebecca Smith:
was live action
Josh Smith:
not very far away either. Like right there.
Rebecca Smith:
Right there.
Josh Smith:
Right there in the brick patio.
Rebecca Smith:
Yep.
Josh Smith:
Didn't even have the courtesy to get to the sand.
Angeline Compau:
Oh, my
Rebecca Smith:
He mounted her.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah he did. He's gonna pork her.
Josh Smith:
another thing that was surprising is the ocean was I think a little colder than we both expected wouldn't you say
Rebecca Smith:
yeah.
Josh Smith:
Yeah, like we spent we went in the ocean every day and did some swimming but like when you got out on top of one of the floaty things they have sitting in the middle of the ocean. You tried to keep your whole body out of water.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Josh Smith:
Yeah.
Rebecca Smith:
But it was fun.
Josh Smith:
It was a good trip. And I do think you would like it Angeline just
Angeline Compau:
I would. Well, if were there a group of people for your, for your 50
Rebecca Smith:
my 50
Angeline Compau:
that would be badass that would be fun on its own. We don't need we can make our own nightlife
Rebecca Smith:
right.
Josh Smith:
I also wanted to
Angeline Compau:
I'm not shoppingat the gift shop, I'll
Rebecca Smith:
Oh geez, we got boned so hard. tell you that
Josh Smith:
I want the audience to know that I basically now own a pair of swim trunks
Rebecca Smith:
Can I tell the story can I, wait, wait, let me tell it. So we get there. And Josh was like, Oh, my gosh, I forgot to brink my bathing suit. I said, I asked you if I should pack pack a beach bag, you're like, No, they'll have them there. And I'm like, okay, there was no beach bag in our room. So you're gonna get some swim shorts, cuz you forgot yours. I'm gonna get a beach bag. Cool. We go to the gift shop.
Josh Smith:
This is our first 10 minutes at the resort.
Rebecca Smith:
I remember
Angeline Compau:
What kind of resorts you staying at? You just get a beach bag included?
Rebecca Smith:
Well, when we were in Jamaica, didn't they have a bag in the room that you could use or something?
Josh Smith:
Yeah.
Angeline Compau:
What?
Rebecca Smith:
But um,
Angeline Compau:
oh my gosh.
Rebecca Smith:
So. So we get there and we're checking in and they're like, we're gonna put $400 on your credit card just for you to use for like not to charge it. But just like, you know, for gratuity, we're gonna run that like a dry run of that, like a, an amount or whatever. Whatever you don't use is returned back to your card, I guess. so I'm like, oh, that sounds like a lot, but
Angeline Compau:
Okay, we're not going to use all that. Cool. So then the gift shop, Josh picks out a pair of swim shirts, I find a beach bag and I'm thinking get the bag with the with the logo on it because that's probably going to be cheaper because it's like the the hotel bag bag or whatever. So cuz they had some really nice ones there. So I'm like, I'll go with the hotel Bag and da da da. So we're checking up at the register Josh is wearing his swim shorts out because he forgot his and we want to go the pool. The guy's like, Okay, how much was it?
Josh Smith:
330?
Rebecca Smith:
We didn't say anything inside
Josh Smith:
I can't take the swimsuit off because they're basically now touching my boys
Angeline Compau:
right? Oh, oh my God.
Josh Smith:
I didn't want to make a scene, so
Angeline Compau:
You didn't look at price tags?
Rebecca Smith:
They didn't have price tags on them!
Angeline Compau:
Dead give away
Josh Smith:
I'm guessing I'm guessing my trunks were 200 in the bag was 150 Yeah, my swim shorts were touched by Jesus.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Rebecca Smith:
Because that's what my mom used to say. When something was expensive. Did Jesus touch it?
Josh Smith:
their nice, their a little high on the thigh? They had no like No, they were nice. They're you know, I'll be wearing them.
Rebecca Smith:
He kept saying, these are the best swim shorts I've ever had.
Josh Smith:
They have you know, like the old school like that have the mesh inside that's cut round these have like the longer you know.
Rebecca Smith:
Yeah,
Josh Smith:
they're dope.
Angeline Compau:
So
Josh Smith:
I felt like you know it took me from a six out of 10 to a solid seven and a half.
Angeline Compau:
Why why did would you you knew you were going to Florida. You knew there was gonna be a pool
Josh Smith:
totally true. So what happened is
Angeline Compau:
you forgot your swim trunks
Rebecca Smith:
Knife in the coat pocket
Josh Smith:
I got home, worked late Friday. Got home late then packed and I'm tired had been you know back to back you know, long days. I'm like I'm gonna get all this done then I'm gonna shower then I can just get up and go and get a decent amount of sleep. So I packed I laid everything out because I haven't, I used to travel you know 30 weeks of the year. I laid everything on the bed. And I went through my mind and I packed everything up you know reading glasses and books and phone chargers and shoes and dress socks for the one night and blah blah blah had it all done even go the smelly
Angeline Compau:
yeah.
Josh Smith:
And then I didn't even think about it till we literally were in the room and I'm like ah we soon as we got the room and we started unpacking like Oh, I forgot a bathingsuit.
Angeline Compau:
Oh my gosh,
Josh Smith:
and my shorts. Smelled like
Rebecca Smith:
oh my gosh,
Josh Smith:
like they smelled, they were so
Rebecca Smith:
they stunk so bad.
Angeline Compau:
Oh
Josh Smith:
like we were getting ready to go to breakfast
Rebecca Smith:
I was I'm in the room and I'm saying like any cuz I'm like oh my god you smell so bad
Josh Smith:
we were
Rebecca Smith:
you can not were those to breakfast
Josh Smith:
I was gonna wear to breakfast and go workout and I'm like no, I can't
Rebecca Smith:
you can't
Josh Smith:
it was bad
Angeline Compau:
why did they smell so bad
Josh Smith:
I think we took them out of the like it was another one my shirts like a few takes them out of the dryer before it's dry
Rebecca Smith:
and then it gets mildewy, but those shorts always smell like that because I think you sweat in them all the time and then you don't wash them very often.
Josh Smith:
No I don't
Angeline Compau:
Oh,
Rebecca Smith:
they're disgusting.
Josh Smith:
There's I cleaned them I washed them outside
Rebecca Smith:
I think the other shirts smell because those stinky shorts were in with all of your luggage
Josh Smith:
but the Ford sweatshirt which is now coated with cologne before I wear it tomorrow to the marijuana because you're gonna stink.
Rebecca Smith:
If anything stinks put it all Yeah, but the Ford sweatshirt sits in that armor with your stink shorts. Everything in there is probably tainted
Josh Smith:
tainted plus Wilbers in there a lot too. I could hear him like a scratch if I don't leave the armar door open I hear like this scratch like he's scratching. And then he's trying to open it with this paw like lean up there.
Rebecca Smith:
He likes to get up in there.
Angeline Compau:
That's funny.
Josh Smith:
If I crack it he'll get up in there then he can sit in the dark and then watch me
Rebecca Smith:
and stink
Josh Smith:
you can sit.
Rebecca Smith:
That's why he likes going in there now
Josh Smith:
I got a sweater out once for work. I look at it and the entire front of it. It isn't just like a little bit like it's just like it looked like a cat hair on the front and like back like if you ever done both sides. I probably could have pulled it off. this What are you doing? Here just boned it out. He's a dirty little fucker.
Angeline Compau:
Yes.
Josh Smith:
I did want you to know that today. I made myself a sardine sandwich not for you but and I wanted a second sandwich. Mayonaise sandwich.
Angeline Compau:
Oh fuck yeah, just bread and mayonaise?
Josh Smith:
toasted very toastedand then put the mayo on top
Rebecca Smith:
Not even like any tomato on there?
Josh Smith:
I put a red onion
Rebecca Smith:
you had an onion and mayo sandwich. you are disgusting
Josh Smith:
Well first I had a sardine sandwich sandwich that I had a mayo and onion sandwich and then I'm like, Okay, I'm going to be talking next to Angeline. So I went before you got here and brushed my dumpster out.
Angeline Compau:
Oh, thank god, that was nice of you. And that is why you're a hero right now. That's what makes you a hero. Hero
Josh Smith:
once again audience.
Rebecca Smith:
Josh, we have a shit ton of veggies in there. Why wouldn't you use any of that?
Josh Smith:
I've taken all those veggies down. I made most of
Rebecca Smith:
There's no zucchini in there? those veggies.
Josh Smith:
Oh, I didn't see that.
Rebecca Smith:
There's no tomatoes?
Josh Smith:
I've eaten so many tomatoes. I had a bunch of them today and I only had like three or four left I want to save them
Rebecca Smith:
for what?
Josh Smith:
I don't know
Angeline Compau:
I would have left off the onions but toast and mayo I'm here for
Rebecca Smith:
ew,
Josh Smith:
It's a really strong meal
Rebecca Smith:
It is not you guys are gross.
Josh Smith:
The bread has to be toasted. You have got to toast the bread. You can't
Angeline Compau:
I like it kind of like I like it not toasted too. Because then it kind of like sinks in and like it's like like you don't like it kind of melts. It gets soggy with mayo.
Josh Smith:
You got to get the bread, the mayo on the bread when it's hot because then it goes in it's pores. it's almost like an English muffin with me which I've not tried.
Angeline Compau:
Mayo on everything is good.
Josh Smith:
Mayo's delicious. I do once in a while take a spoonful of mayo and I'll just take it down. It's it's it's not it's not a big deal.
Angeline Compau:
I love it. So good
Josh Smith:
it is
Angeline Compau:
my ex used to get mad because he'd be like will you make me a sandwich. I'm like yeah, I'll totally make you a sandwich not a big deal. And he's like why is there so much Mayonaise on it and I was like that's the appropriate amount this is what you put on
Josh Smith:
Why isn't there enough mayonaise
Angeline Compau:
that's what I was thinking. He would he could scrape it off and put some back into the jar he goes that's too much
Josh Smith:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, you scrape it off and you lick the knife you don't put it back in the thing.
Angeline Compau:
I was like what are you doing
Josh Smith:
what are you on food stamps?
Angeline Compau:
I would I put the appropriate amount on that I would want so I'm making a sandwich like thinking this is why people want it I had no idea I'm like you you don't want all that Mayonaise
Rebecca Smith:
remind me to never have you make me a sandwich
Josh Smith:
the size of the jar that that mayonaise comes in like you gotta cuz I don't eat enough sandwiches. I mean, I wish I had more sandwiches
Rebecca Smith:
but you can make egg salad you can make chicken salad
Angeline Compau:
tuna
Josh Smith:
you used to make a lot of salmon salad which I thought was delicious
Angeline Compau:
tuna salad too
Josh Smith:
you ever had salmon salad
Angeline Compau:
no
Josh Smith:
we had at once in Paris and then beck when on a tear used to make all the time red onions and then she stopped loving me
Angeline Compau:
she stopped loving me
Josh Smith:
salmon sounds good and you can just buy the canned salmon
Rebecca Smith:
you can make your own salmon salad. Why do I have to make it
Josh Smith:
you make really good stuff when you when you choose to take care of me
Rebecca Smith:
I don't use half the mayonaise that you want
Josh Smith:
otherwise I eat raw hotdogs dipped in mayo I mean what the hell
Angeline Compau:
now
Rebecca Smith:
that's good
Angeline Compau:
remember I taught you
Rebecca Smith:
not dipped in mayo
Angeline Compau:
remember over the summer what I was telling people and like why would you not put mail on your hot dog with the catch up
Josh Smith:
I didn't really think about it but I would do it
Rebecca Smith:
I do ketchup and mayo with french fries
Angeline Compau:
you all were judging me. I do that too
Rebecca Smith:
or tots
Angeline Compau:
Yes, same same always dip everything in mayo
Rebecca Smith:
but ketchup with mayo. I won't dip it in just mayo. Let's get that straight.
Angeline Compau:
Okay, well ketchup and mayo is good too. But I was here over the summer we were having one of our barbecues and I put my mayo on my hot dog and everyone was looking at me and I was like
Josh Smith:
Where was I was already passed out drunk screaming whore from the boat?
Angeline Compau:
Maybe I feel like you were on board and you're like that's a really good idea. Why have I never thought of that? Yeah, I was like because I always mayonaise up my dog
Josh Smith:
so this summer just so you know we decided not to do the house. But I'm gonna really
Rebecca Smith:
did you tell her why
Angeline Compau:
why?
Josh Smith:
So okay, here's the plan audience and listen, the four wheelers out we need money for something else. No, we when you look at the house prices in the keys they've gone up 100% last two years. But eventually they'll be a crash and beck and I don't owe money on this house or the property next door. So we're just going to get this do the cosmetic stuff especially when I'm not working as much when I retire I get everything done. I'm going to totally redo the beach in the yard the right way and in the next somewhere between two years and five years when the time is right, we're going to buy a house in the keys and move down to the keys. Why are you making that face you're welcome to visit here's here's the house limits
Angeline Compau:
okay,
Josh Smith:
we're not gonna get a big house because super unaffordable two bedroom two bath two bedroom two bath the second
Rebecca Smith:
a three bedroom would be nice but
Josh Smith:
a second bedroom will have it's gonna be two baths two bedrooms at least with a big porch like I saw a nice house and I was looking at it really shitty porch for two people to fit on it and fuck that noise. And here's the deal. You're welcome to come down.
Rebecca Smith:
Yes,
Josh Smith:
there'll be an outdoor shower I prefer that you shower outdoor
Angeline Compau:
Okay. I will do that
Josh Smith:
at night.
Angeline Compau:
Okay,
Rebecca Smith:
and we can still do the podcast via zoom.
Josh Smith:
We're not going to get a pool, but we will get a hot tub
Angeline Compau:
I would like you to know that whether I'm welcome or not I will be there.
Josh Smith:
Excellent.
Angeline Compau:
So that's good.
Josh Smith:
Well think about another things like let's say we decide to go on a vacation somebody is gonna have to fly down and stay at our house for like a week. Yeah, now I'm not going to pay all your airfare but I'm going to work on deals with you.
Angeline Compau:
Okay,
Josh Smith:
and you can bring a friend. I don't want two dudes and you just splooging
Angeline Compau:
Eiffel Towering it up
Josh Smith:
I don't know what that is. But it doesn't sound like I want it going on in my couch. That the rule. I don't want any boning in the hot tub
Angeline Compau:
fine
Josh Smith:
all right. you keep your skivies on
Angeline Compau:
okay even though the filter will take care
Rebecca Smith:
are we gonna get a hot tub in the keys
Josh Smith:
Oh yeah.
Angeline Compau:
Oh yeah.
Josh Smith:
Gotta have it not gonna have it on the balcony you can have it down low. Oh, so we have the doubt like the houses you're looking at on stilts but they've all got super awesome patios like we're not looking for a big yard. We don't need a bigger yard, we need to Park two cars or a boat
Angeline Compau:
you need a beach
Josh Smith:
a lot of these houses basically set it for beach if we have to be walking distance. Yeah, we'd have to be walking distance to a beach if we didn't have a house on water if we had a house on water then we're boat ride to the beach or island where
Angeline Compau:
yes
Josh Smith:
you know none of the riffraff
Rebecca Smith:
are we getting a boat too?
Angeline Compau:
yes
Josh Smith:
you know boats super expensive the time that I went down there when I was in high school we just had one of those little like boats that you could select obviously would go to the store the Barna boat so it was like a real simple like, Tiller like nothing to it. I don't I don't I don't want to buy a boat for like years until we learn what we want. Like I want to take two or three years there before we buy a boat. I also think that
Rebecca Smith:
so audience,
Josh Smith:
we need money for a boat.
Rebecca Smith:
You're welcome to come visit.
Angeline Compau:
Yes, Greg.
Josh Smith:
Only five star members, Greg Louganis, you are automatically allowed to visit
Rebecca Smith:
we have five star members?
Josh Smith:
No, but five star members are your gifts. Like Jim and Tammy Baker.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh,
Josh Smith:
you have to climb some ladder of giving it to be like
Rebecca Smith:
okay, I get it.
Angeline Compau:
Gotcha.
Josh Smith:
It could be a boat fund.
Angeline Compau:
Okay.
Josh Smith:
And I don't want anything fancy audience I want durable. It doesn't have to be fast. Sea worthy the I'm not
Rebecca Smith:
they're not gonna buy us a boat. They're gonna gonna go give us money to buy a boat.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, you are gonna pick your own boat.
Josh Smith:
Act like I need a yacht, but I don't really want a yacht. I want something really durable. And I'm not gonna take it on the high seas
Rebecca Smith:
give freely. Wait, where's my music again? Okay, did you hear on that episode I put when you're talking about if you could just give and I put music behind it. You guys don't even know the half the shit I do when I edit.
Angeline Compau:
I was like, I don't know that. I
Rebecca Smith:
Nobody got it.
Josh Smith:
I don't listen to our podcast.
Rebecca Smith:
We decided we're gonna do another movie series.
Angeline Compau:
Cuz people like it
Rebecca Smith:
People seem to like it
Angeline Compau:
like people love it. They love when you're on full time.
Josh Smith:
I thought that I was not a full time member.
Rebecca Smith:
I know. You don't want to be
Josh Smith:
No, I'm Okay, listen, Greg. All I need is a couple 1000 bucks for a boat.
Rebecca Smith:
Here we go this is what you're gonna get full time people. If you want him on full time. This is what's gonna happen.
Angeline Compau:
The audience had
Rebecca Smith:
and no I'm not changing the name of the podcast. I could be your mother and father.
Josh Smith:
I've actually been reading up on how to be a bartender because I really feel like I could be a bartender in the keys
Angeline Compau:
you could
Josh Smith:
I feel like I have the right personality, the right
Rebecca Smith:
why don't you go to bartending school.
Josh Smith:
I've been reading up on it. And that's one way to do it. But they said it's a waste because what you really need to be as a bar back is the assistance.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Josh Smith:
And then you get a shot. Because they want most places want to teach how to make drinks your way and I don't want to do it like a resort like where we were
Rebecca Smith:
no, you need like a dive bar.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah,
Josh Smith:
yeah. Or a bar or like a nicer resort. That's close to a resort where people come into the bar. And because they're always flush with cash, they take a look at my bulging biceps. I'll be praying on the blue hairs. I'm not ashamed.
Angeline Compau:
Oh my god.
Josh Smith:
and if my wife works there. We're not gonna act like we're married because you know,
Angeline Compau:
you got to get tips. She got to get tips. Yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Smith:
What am I gonna do there? Hostess?
Josh Smith:
service the server
Rebecca Smith:
no I can't I don't have arm strength to be a server I tried it at TGI Fridays.
Angeline Compau:
Who said you're gonna be serving drinks?
Rebecca Smith:
Serving up boobs,
Angeline Compau:
that's what I was just gonna say. You're gonna give service but a different kind.
Josh Smith:
Yes, you could be the restaurant manager.
Rebecca Smith:
I could be a hostess because that's what I used to do.
Josh Smith:
Hostess don't make shit.
Rebecca Smith:
I know.
Josh Smith:
Bartenders, servers make money. Actually, no, you need to do
Rebecca Smith:
I could be the pool, pool drink girl
Josh Smith:
You need to be the person at a the cash register person at one of those big docks where they rent out space or brings a boat in. Like they have those jobs on there where there's docks where all the rich rate vacations bringing the 55 docs and you help lap them down. They always have the lady doing the register. That's you. Because then we'd be able to find cheap boats to rent. Oh, you're gone for the weekend. You need somebody to drive your boat to Key Largo down to ramrod Oh, my husband has his master pilot's license, which I will get master boat license, whatever. I'm sure there's some master.
Angeline Compau:
Okay, Master. So why don't why don't you be a server? Air quoting be a server. Seat people at their table also say I will be around back whenever you're ready.
Rebecca Smith:
So basically a whore. Like Josh says, and Josh already thinks about me.
Josh Smith:
What are we talking pay here? Angelyne.
Angeline Compau:
Whatever they have in their wallet, credit cards.
Josh Smith:
Just slide the credit card to the crack.
Angeline Compau:
She's got venmo
Josh Smith:
Venmo
Angeline Compau:
Yep. Venmo,
Josh Smith:
I did. Angeline, I think it's gonna happen. I think we're gonna move the keys.
Angeline Compau:
Well, that's badass. And I'm gonna come visit.
Josh Smith:
You could move.
Angeline Compau:
I could
Josh Smith:
get rid of your your job that you hate to be a server for the restaurant.
Angeline Compau:
I don't hate my job
Josh Smith:
and you can pay rent.
Angeline Compau:
Okay, or you hire me to do something.
Josh Smith:
I have a lot of dogshit the scoop. Let's
Angeline Compau:
no you. Where are you gonna go work you gonna retire?
Josh Smith:
I'm gonna be a bartender.
Angeline Compau:
Oh, shit. Yeah, that's right.
Josh Smith:
or work in a boat dock. I want to do something where I have no responsibility whatsoever.
Angeline Compau:
I mean, I could work in a bar and be a bartender too.
Josh Smith:
Yeah, I don't want to be responsible for people.
Angeline Compau:
Hmm, I had
Josh Smith:
no supervisory duties whatsoever.
Angeline Compau:
I could make some sweet tips. Yep, I could do that.
Josh Smith:
Or we could have a husband and wife bartending team that would last about four seconds.
Angeline Compau:
I'll serve drinks.
Josh Smith:
I'd have whiskey thrown in my eyes.
Angeline Compau:
I'm just gonna hang out at the boat docks in my bathing suit. And I'm gonna say hey, who needs an extra lady on your boat?
Josh Smith:
You'll be a wiper. The fluffer but you'll fluff the boat.
Angeline Compau:
Yes, I fluff the boat
Josh Smith:
you wash the boat in a new bikini. You'll make some tips. for like a year and then you'll start to get old.
Angeline Compau:
I just when people just want like some extra little eye candy on their boat. That's what I'll be.
Josh Smith:
I don't understand how you're the eye candy.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh my god.
Angeline Compau:
Yes, you do. AJ knows. He gets it damn.
Josh Smith:
I don't think it's good enough to make a living.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, they just they gotta pay me 100 bucks an hour to sit on your boat.
Josh Smith:
It'll be pity bills.
Angeline Compau:
That's fine, give me your pity bill.
Josh Smith:
Somebody put some ones together. So it looks like it's more.
Angeline Compau:
No, I have a rate I have an hourly rate. And if you want me to hang out on the boat, that's you
Josh Smith:
Just so you know, your rents due on the first.
Angeline Compau:
Okay.
Josh Smith:
All right. Every month,
Angeline Compau:
yeah,
Josh Smith:
Not like
Angeline Compau:
the first of the year.
Rebecca Smith:
You said the first
Josh Smith:
in fact, we're gonna have you pre pay one year at a time
Angeline Compau:
this stupid, stupid I get a job down there is that what I would love to do to
Josh Smith:
you have to sleep on the porch?
Angeline Compau:
Wonder how much money I could make as a bartender
Rebecca Smith:
make more.
Josh Smith:
if we both made something like that on the fact we'd also have a fixed income that whatever we made would just be you know, have fun money.
Rebecca Smith:
I don't think I want to be a bartender though
Josh Smith:
I don't have to be a bartender. I could work in a dock.
Angeline Compau:
I'll be a bartender.
Josh Smith:
I saw one at the sheriff's office where they needed somebody just to that could type fast and do office work. And I was raising my hand for it. And it had full benefits.
Rebecca Smith:
That's me.
Josh Smith:
full benefits, like 25 bucks an hour
Rebecca Smith:
You're looking for jobs in the Keys already.
Josh Smith:
Oh, yeah. I'm ready to go back now. I could do it. I love it. I loved it so much. I could live down there. was awesome. I just love the weather. Constant breeze it's not smokin hot like Florida.
Angeline Compau:
No,
Rebecca Smith:
no not in the Keys, it's tropical
Josh Smith:
tropical Angeline
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, we got to get to a boat that's Yeah, and you know what speaking of boats this year can we take your boat to Jobby nooner
Josh Smith:
No. My boat has a 9.9 horsepower motor
Rebecca Smith:
Oh year, it won't do good on Lake St. Claire.
Angeline Compau:
I just want to park it. We just want to
Josh Smith:
Angeline, I I would sink that boat on Lake St. Clair. No, we're not going to Jobby nooner. tell you what say what we can do we'll loan you a kayak you take it out.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, there you go. topless Kayaking.
Josh Smith:
The green kayak is unsinkable.
Angeline Compau:
No, I'm trying to get on a boat man. People are gonna see me a kayak they're gonna be like this bitch. Get her out of here.
Josh Smith:
We show up on a fucking pontoon. That's
Rebecca Smith:
Angeline, you know who has a boat? Brian
Angeline Compau:
Brian, let's go to jobby
Josh Smith:
Brian says, I'll take her to jobby
Angeline Compau:
he does want to take me to jobby.
Josh Smith:
What kind of jobby is he gonna get in return? All right, Brian. It sounds like the doors open.
Angeline Compau:
A foot jab. How about one of those.
Josh Smith:
I don't know this Brian guy, but I would not be surprised to hear a bite on that one.
Angeline Compau:
Oh,
Josh Smith:
sounds a little skeezy to me.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh,
Angeline Compau:
nice.
Josh Smith:
Yeah, yep, yep.
Angeline Compau:
Okay.
Josh Smith:
All right. I just realized now I have to leave earlier. That was my text.
Rebecca Smith:
Oh, sorry.
Josh Smith:
That's the way it goes
Rebecca Smith:
Josh isn't home tomorrow night. You want to come over watch St. Elmo's fire?
Angeline Compau:
What's your Where are you gonna be ?
Josh Smith:
at the farm?
Angeline Compau:
Oh, yeah. That's right.
Josh Smith:
Counting weed again. We just keep losing count of that. Damn, weed
Angeline Compau:
I bet you do.
Josh Smith:
It's gonna be fun. It's not bad work. You just sort of grind through it boss calls every five minutes. Can we talk like I can we can talk or I can count weed
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, what do you want?
Josh Smith:
No matter to me.
Angeline Compau:
That's funny.
Josh Smith:
Yep, yep, yep.
Rebecca Smith:
All right. Well, then we're done for the next two weeks. Well,
Josh Smith:
where are you going to Angeline?
Rebecca Smith:
Florida
Angeline Compau:
Florida
Josh Smith:
again
Angeline Compau:
yeah,
Josh Smith:
With Brian? with who
Rebecca Smith:
herself, her friend that lives down there she's going to see your friend again
Josh Smith:
you're married friend right
Rebecca Smith:
yeah. Yeah.
Josh Smith:
sounds ominous
Angeline Compau:
why?
Josh Smith:
I don't know what you're really doing down there.
Angeline Compau:
And there's reasons that I'm not gonna tell
Josh Smith:
a bunch of foot rubs you
Angeline Compau:
yes
Josh Smith:
you got a boyfriend down there, got a girlfriend on there
Angeline Compau:
I wish I had a boyfriend down there
Rebecca Smith:
huh
Angeline Compau:
yeah any of my Tampa friends down there want to take me
Josh Smith:
Are you think about moving down there?
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, I would love to if I can get a job down there. I would move down there
Josh Smith:
I've got to get beck to the to like two years in and out save every penny we can just get it done. Even if that meant we had to work as waiter and waitress or whatever for like six more years and be totally fucking worth it.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah,
Josh Smith:
it would. We're doing it
Angeline Compau:
we're doing it
Josh Smith:
Beck's get a trader Yukon and we move for Jeep. In the keys we in the keys. We got to have a jeep and like a truck pickup truck pickup truck for hurricane just a load up our shit and go like a Tacoma
Rebecca Smith:
hurricanes Angeline
Angeline Compau:
Yeah. what the hell, i forgot.
Josh Smith:
jeeps gotta be like a go around town vehicle for sure.
Angeline Compau:
I forgot about hurricanes pass.
Josh Smith:
That's what fucking home insurance as for
Rebecca Smith:
what's gonna happen if they say Trop, Tropical Storm moving in, I'm out. Out. You and I are packing up and leaving.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah.
Josh Smith:
Just go to Stacy's? Thanks, Stacy. Stacy says Mountain Cottage in the mountains. It's less of a drive to get there than it is here. To get up there. Take the Rone take the bone
Angeline Compau:
hurricanes. those are terrifying
Rebecca Smith:
right?
Angeline Compau:
We don't deal with shit like that up here.
Rebecca Smith:
Right?
Josh Smith:
Can't wait to deal with it.
Angeline Compau:
Why
Josh Smith:
doesn't matter to me? I'm going to fucking learn how to play the harmonica.
Angeline Compau:
You would I have
Rebecca Smith:
what does the harmonica have to do with Florida?
Angeline Compau:
any old man activity he's going to learn how to do just to be more of an old geezer
Josh Smith:
while I'm on the ocean by myself staring down the sun just playing my playing my harpoon.
Angeline Compau:
Oh my God, no one's gonna talk to you. They'd be like, hey, there's that creepy guy playing that harmonica again.
Josh Smith:
I can't wait.
Rebecca Smith:
They're gonna throw coins into your coffee cup.
Josh Smith:
That's Right? That's right. That's gonna be awesome.
Angeline Compau:
I won't be able to hang out with you people won't give me money. If they know that I'm friends with the creepy guy playing the harmonica
Josh Smith:
probably won't
Angeline Compau:
no. you hang out with that guy
Josh Smith:
My sense is their not gonna give you money anyway.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, they are.
Josh Smith:
Okay.
Angeline Compau:
Yeah, I'll be the best bartender you ever did see?
Josh Smith:
Excellent. Excellent. Okay,
Rebecca Smith:
a lovely bunch of coconuts.
Angeline Compau:
I'm gonna make some stong drinks
Josh Smith:
You can be a coconut tender apparently come fucking tender coconut trees.
Angeline Compau:
Yes
Josh Smith:
during a hurricane. They're vicious fucking missiles.
Angeline Compau:
Oh, Yeah Now that is an idea your on to something
Josh Smith:
I come to your house. tend your nuts and finish off with a foot massage.
Angeline Compau:
Yes. Yeah,
Josh Smith:
excellent
Angeline Compau:
I've got a plan.
Josh Smith:
I'm going too bed, fuck you guys.
Rebecca Smith:
Bye guys
Angeline Compau:
Bye Greg Louganis
Josh Smith:
Bye Greg, good show
Season 2 coming in January! Be sure to subscribe anywhere you listen to podcasts!! Check out our website at www.icbympodcast.com. You can leave us comments or voicemails, we want to hear from you!! You can also now rate u...
This week, Rebecca quizzes Angeline and Josh on after school specials. Can they guess the plot by just the title? Then Josh comes on to tell us why being on time is important. Be sure to check us out on …
This week the gang discusses the cult classic movie Sleepaway Camp! Spoiler Alert!!!! Be sure to watch the movie before listening as Josh has a big mouth and gives away the ending right at the top of the show!!! We …
